After my divorce,
I changed my name back to Gina Marie Barry.
I had hundreds of art business cards
with my married name printed on them.
I could have thrown them away and moved on,
but instead they became a sort of art therapy for me.

At first I used up palette paint on these cards,
covering over my old name with leftover paint.
Stacks of painted cards would travel to work with me.
In meetings I would doodle on them.
I would add a quote that spoke to what I was feeling in that moment.

I keep stacks unfinished and finished cards with me.
I jot down a good quote at any moment
or doodle something while I wait in line.

And when finished, I give them away...
That is the original purpose of a business card.
They are made to be given away.
They were created to remind someone of me.
But that me is no longer.
A new me has begun.
And Gina Marie Barry is beginning with a fresh coat of paint.

I have now covered over every single card
with layers of paint.
I used my Gelli Plate and spent a weekend
covering the last of the hundreds of cards
with beautiful textures.

No more leftovers - these are intentional.

These cards have helped me on this new journey.
They are little pieces of me,
some are ugly and some are beautiful
Drawing over the paint,
following along the lines made by accident.
Finding beauty in the imperfection (wabi sabi).

I now see this is my art practice, my journal of sorts
even if it isn't sitting down to create in my studio.
These are done in the space between.
The dream always finds a way...

Words and lines all mixed together.
Each unique and each inspired by a moment in my life
each created by a new me - to be given away
I hope they will inspire or bring a smile or send a bit of hope
As they have done for me.

I tuck them into check holders at restaurants,
(servers work so hard they could use extra love)
I give them to friends
I give them to strangers
I leave them anywhere I am inspired to leave them
with a hope that someone will find the words useful or helpful
Or send them on as well.

Maybe these cards have become a metaphor for me.
To take all the ugly of my failure as a wife
​and my failed marriage
and make it into something beautiful.

Maybe it is a way to cover over my old life
without throwing it all away
because it wasn't all bad and
my beautiful daughter is here because of it.

Maybe it is just something to fill the time
so grief can't take over. 

These cards are just a tiny piece of rebuilding my life
And sending them off into the world
is exactly what they are supposed to do.

Enter to win these 5 cards on Instagram
​at @ginabarryartist
​enter by July 1, 2018. 

Getting ready for my art show coming up July 21-22, 2018 in Golden, CO.
I am trying to fill in a few things for multiple price points.
These are large quote cards -
each about 4" x 6".

I made these with my new found love, Gelli Plate printing.

Come by my show and check them out. 

Painting while emotional
is not my usual gig.

I have had some emotions that are unfamiliar 
like anger.

I don't like the Anger feeling
I try to talk myself out of it
I want to fix it
I clean in anger
and in this painting I added a couple of layers
while in anger

I have learned in these past couple years 
that I can't fix "it".
These happenings that make the anger grow. 
I just get to ride the wave
how I deal with what is happening
And I know I haven't dealt with them well at times.

This painting has
layers of anger
layers of sad
​layers of loss
layers of messy
layers of hope
layers of dreams
layers of following along
layers of doing my own thing
all mixed together

in the end
i learned
anger can be beautiful
in my Wabi Sabi world
as long as I don't dwell there too long
(and my house is cleaner...)

​this painting...
Two daisies.
Connected
one is turning away
Even as the other tries to hold it close
perhaps this painting is about more than
​just these flowers

I have been busy.
But they say we shouldn't say that anymore...
I have been doing lots of art intertwined with my life.
I even have the opportunity to show my work this July.
So I did a practice run this weekend.

There is something about this series of work
that is different than the others.
Still trees, still bright, but very different.

The wabi sabi concept is helping me let go. 
(Wabi Sabi is the art of finding beauty in the imperfections)
This art begs me not to get lost
or stop in the "perfection" of it all. 

I paint with freedom.
Pour paint and drag
paint around on the page.

I work quickly thinking of only this.
It is a meditation
this moment clear and bright
Engrossed in color combinations.
Pushing and pulling paint with a card.
The tool takes away the chance at the details.

After they dry and rest
I come back to these paintings
with new eyes
I hold a copic marker or pigma pen in hand.
I find the trees hiding in the colors
dwelling in the layers. 

The painting head space is separate from the tree finding head space. 
This is when the details can come.
This is when I can look for the order in the chaos.

I am not fighting this series.
I am not looking for the next idea.
I dream of the next mess I can make
and then find order in the mess. 
I am content in making these paintings.
I want to find more trees in the chaos.

A painting mess

 jump in (it's not in my nature - I plan and figure it all out first)

Fear is on this ride.
But as I learned from Big Magic...
fear no longer get's to drive. 

The ugly stage comes and goes.
a stage in every painting and in every life. (sometimes more than one)
I have to walk away - sleep it off - ignore the fear beast.
sometimes art get tucked away for a while
but eventually I have to come back

find the beauty in the trees
Find the trees in the chaos
Find me in the chaos
Find peace in me

this is why i do this. 
wabi sabi is finding beauty in the mess,
in the broken, in the imperfections
​that are this LIFE... it is imperfectly beautiful. 

to find beauty in the imperfections. 
"to make visible that which without me would not be seen"

my art is a safe place
to find peace and beauty
and by finding this peace and beauty in artwork, 
translate that to my life.